Meet Lynde

I never get tired of my job! I LITERALLY get to share tools that God gave me to help women get healthy from the inside out. He has also given me a community of women to fight the good fight for our bodies with, and I never cease to be amazed at the beautiful women I get to do life with!

Meet Lynde…

Lynde and I connect on IG a little over a year ago, and she has been a LIGHT in The Full Life Project since day one! Sharing her story openly and encouraging all of us to keep Christ at the center. I knew I HAD to share her story with you as my faithful readers! Here it is in her own words; I encourage you to read it ALL the way through. She has a gift with words, and you will leave blessed!

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“I was born type A for certain. I liked plans, I liked things a certain way. I made messes as a kid, but then I cleaned them up. Barbies strewn all about my room then put back into their proper place.

I was also a perfectionist. I wanted to do something once and do it perfect. Schoolwork, piano, pleasing people, church activities. I wanted to be picked and I wanted to win and I wanted to succeed. But under all of this, even young, I felt unsure and unworthy. I felt unlikable and unloved and while I put up the facade and was successful on the outside, I felt like a failure on the inside. And when I did end make mistakes, even completely normal ones, I felt guilt.

I will have to say I always felt uncomfortable in my skin. I didn’t realize this until recently, but I have.

Never did I feel completely like me. On top of feeling unworthy, I felt ugly and overweight and when I looked in the mirror I disliked what I saw. Even at a young age. And I wasn’t any of these things. It was a lie I was believing.

Let me just say this, it wasn’t because I wasn’t built up and loved and encouraged. My parents were my cheerleaders. They believed in me and cheered me along and held me when I cried and encouraged me when I was down.

But if you perform long enough, it’s becomes the expectation.

Around the age of 13 the perfectionism and poor self/body image collided thanks in large part to puberty. I grew a figure and didn’t know how to deal with that. I had no control over this happening and I didn’t like it. An offhanded comment by a boy trying to be funny and maybe a little mean literally pushed me right over the edge. I didn’t feel like I was looking perfect enough and controlling this part of my life well enough, so I needed to change things. A skewed body image and a skewed understanding of healthy eating and exercise led me down the road of anorexia. And I was on this road for 3 years and it was dangerous. I’d like to say that after 3 years I was well, but while by the grace of God I did start improving, I wasn’t working entirely on the heart of the matter. For years, I would say I had gotten better, but really I just moved from one form of disordered eating to another and then another. Wholeheartedly believing that my body could not eat regularly and workout and end up healthy and strong. And let me add that when you trade anorexia for other disordered eating weight comes on quickly. I ended up weighing more than I ever had. And that was just the beginning of all the yo-yo dieting and the up and down weight. This was my life for 15 years. Letting numbers and sizes determine my worth, determine my guilt and shame. Even determine what I did that day or where I went.

It wasn’t until 2012 God started to really unravel the rug I had swept everything under. To really show me I didn’t have to perform to be loved and accepted by him. That he wasn’t put off by my mess that he loved me because of my mess. That he wasn’t expecting a certain weight or size…just my heart. And I began to really heal from the inside out. I like to say I am a recovering perfectionist. I began to run because I wanted to. I had always been afraid because maybe I didn’t look like a runner. And I began to not worry so much or think so obsessively about what went into my mouth.

Still I had my not consistent moments of working out or eating wagons I fell off of. But I wasn’t letting this rule my life anymore. It wasn’t deciding if I was going to hide or shrink back.

BUT it was still a struggle. And God wanted the everyday monotonous struggle. The little things. And he wanted the scale. My last stronghold. And I was holding on strongly. It was still determining my mood and trying to determine my value. He led me to beachbody and Rachel with a desire to make this temple strong and use it for all the things has was asking and would ask. And I loved it! I loved the joy I was finding in moving my body, the strength I felt, but also the group of ladies who were desiring the same, who were helping hold me accountable.

During this he finally asked for my last strongholds with verse Deuteronomy 2:3 “You have made your way around this hill country long enough; now turn north.” ( which I find so amazingly God that he gave Rachel the same). Tearfully, I handed them over to really steward my health in Him, mentally and physically. It is still not easy and I try to take it back daily, but with this group it is easier and there’s cheers for successes and only encouragement for steps back.

God wants us fully, even the tiny, seemingly insignificant things. He loves us completely and wants us know that without a doubt. He wants us to hand it all over and simply trust him with our purpose and our worth. Because in Christ we are worth far, far more than we can ever imagine. And he is teaching me to care for myself that way everyday.“

Isn’t that such a beautiful testimony of what God can do when we surrender to Him??

Please go follow Lynde on the ‘gram, be inspired by her, and send her a word of encouragement if this testimony blessed you!